Gorgeous Eddie

Gorgeous Eddie was the most gorgous in his village. He had plastic surgery every Wednesday to keep his gorgeous up. Once he looked at a lady at the fair, and she died of lust. Another time he made the cows cry gallon sized tears of envy, and they had to close the village because of flooding.
I remember in 1965, a local chap challenged Eddie to a looks contest, but before it even started, Eddie flexed his arm muscle and his younger opponent pissed himself for forty days and forty nights. A raft was constructed by a bearded fella on the outskirts of town, to keep all the animals safe. Eddie fed them his gorgeous sweat and they grew big and gorgeous, and a handsome rainbow filled the sky. Eddie is no longer with us, but last year alone, his corpse won beauty pageants in eleven counties.