Axe to Grind!

Man, I've got a SERIOUS axe to grind! That's right! I've got a bone to pick with you! I have issues! I would like to bend your ear a little, here! I would like to get a couple things straight! Right now! For the record, I have a couple of entries. I think I'll cut to the chase! Try this on for size! Take what I'm about to say, put it in your pipe and smoke it! Just a second, pal! Not so fast! Oh Yea?! Guess what! I don't see it that way! If you want my humble opinion, I would like to say a thing or two about a thing or two! Here's my 2 cents, asshole! I have an item that I would like you to stick where the sun does not shine! You think so? I don't agree! Want some advice? I didn't think you did! Could I please have a word with you? We need to talk! Are you understanding me? I'm at a loss! How about some constructive criticism? I have a couple gripes! Do you read me? It's time to step back, so let’s dive into the problem! I've been analyzing the situation, and I've made a report! So, here it goes! I love you.